I used to compulsively try to be good in bed and was often frustrated that women rarely to no sex in the relationship with me wanted. I did not want to admit that sex with me is unsatisfying for any woman and I should not blame them. Meanwhile, I understand and accept that women rightly prefer and appreciate other men sexually. Which woman finds a man sexually permanently attractive if he prefers to masturbate at her feet than to have sex, wears lingerie, is submissive, finds penises attractive as well as fat men and in addition has a small limp penis himself and always ejaculates prematurely under one minute...! I am a sexual failure and failing sexually is my sexuality. It is amazing when you are honest with yourself how cathartic it can be to admit your sexuality to yourself. Now, as much as I can, I live out my beta sexuality without pressuring myself to perform well sexually, which I would never achieve anyway.