Two guys, bored to death so a simple solution is to go out and get a slut to play with.  Make sure she is a good looker and not too fat.  Then you can negotiate a price with the little tramp to play some games with you.  She will ask for �100+ so give her a tenner.  Then just do whatever comes naturally.  Rip the whores clothes off, pull her pubes, lick her cunt and ass and remember to give her a right good fucking to put her in her place.  Then when you get bored with it, give her the money, sling her out the door and then throw her clothes to her too.  Then settle down with some beers and watch the footie.  Job done.